“Racist” Cows?

by Al Benson Jr.

We have been duly informed by the politically correct, the cultural Marxists among us, that anyone politically to the right of Ho Chi Minh or Fidel Castro is a “deplorable” racist. Evidence  for this accusation?  Well, who needs evidence? Just say it long enough and loud enough and people will believe it. The Social Justice warriors way over on the Far Left fringe have decreed it. Ain’t that enough? After all, who would even think of questioning “social justice” or its  provocateurs?

However, in recent days the social justice campaign seems to have reached new and more glorious  heights. According to the website Intellihub the animal rights group PETA has continued to add to its list of “unusual” claims, and this time they have put out a video that literally claims that drinking milk just might mean you are a closet racist. Intellihub recently said: “The group posted the video on Friday in a Tweet that reads, ‘Did you know that milk has long been a symbol used by white supremacists?”

Wow, I didn’t know that did you? Well, they say you learn something new every day (even if it is slightly off the wall). So now we have had the ultimate tool of the Far Right white supremacy crowd exposed for what it really is–Milk, white milk! Well, if it’s white it must be “racist” right?  I mean, everything white is racist isn’t it? Makes you wonder about snow doesn’t it?

So I thought, in view of this startling revelation that we ought to take this whole racist scenario one step further and expose yet another layer of deep-rooted racism–Cows!

I mean, after all, the brown cow eats green grass but she gives white milk, so it stands to reason, at least among the progressive Left, that the cow is racist too. Doesn’t it? What other logical conclusion could a devout cultural Marxist come up with? If she wasn’t racist couldn’t we, at least once in awhile, depend on chocolate milk from her? The fact that she continually provides only white milk must indicate that the cow, knowingly or not, has deep racist tendencies.  And what about her owner? He has to be a flaming racist too. Do we dare ask how many cows he has that only give white milk? Is there a right-wing conspiracy here among the agricultural set to flood the country with white milk? If so, this needs to be exposed. The Communist News Network should send out some hot-shot reporter, have him sneak around the dairy farm and get some samples of that white milk. Then he could have them tested for the amount of inherent racism they might contain. Anything over 50 grams per udderful would be enough to seal his journalistic career forever.

We must realize that this is a serious problem!  Racist milk from racist cows is flooding the country. Valiant anti-racists just can’t obtain brown, yellow, red, or black milk–all these miserable bovines today provide for us is this insipid, racist white stuff. Why it’s enough to gag a maggot!

The social justice folks need to start scratching around under the rocks and barrels to see if they can find a friend somewhere in Congress, one who might be ready to expose all this. Once they produce such a specimen he could introduce mandatory legislation nationwide that would force all daily farmers to inoculate their cows with something approved by the FDA that would turn the color of the milk given by cows into something besides white. I imagine, to the Flakes over on the leftist fringe, that would seem to be a reasonable solution to this horrible problem.

Seem to me I have seen an article or two in the local LameStream Media outlets that discussed in depth the traumatic experiences undergone by those that were forced to drink white milk. Having to drink white milk was more traumatic for them than someone having tipped over their little red wagons when they were three years old.

I know you can get chocolate and strawberry milk flavorings at the local super market, but even if you buy and use them, somehow it just isn’t the same when you realize the milk was white to begin with.

So there has to be some solution that could be introduced that would call for more federal regulation and at least one more layer of bureaucracy to ease the unemployment problems that Obama’s stimulus packages didn’t quite take care of.

I can see it now–pre-planned spontaneous street demonstrations all across the country, with people marching and carrying signs that say “White is Right; Strawberry is Red; and Chocolate is—whatever!” And you thought Trump’s Russian scenario was something!  Brother, you ain’t seen nothin’ yet!

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